Harry Potter and the Coconut Injury
by MakiAi
Summary: It was a warm sunny day at the beach. Harry was having a lot of fun with his best mates. Doesn't this seem to cheesy to you? Who knows of the hidden horrors beneath this shining illusion? Harry didn't, Ginny didn't, Hermione didn't, Ron didn't, but I did.
1. Life is like a coconut

**_NOTE: I WILL BE EDITING ALL OF MY FAN FICS FOR GRAMMAR MISTAKES AND WILLB E ADDING MORE HUMOR._**

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or coconuts! Dang! No seriously, I want a coconut.

Maiko: Hi everyone! This is a fanfic written by me and my friends Lillie and Sparkle!

Cho: Hi! This is my first fanfic!

Rai: I think trees should be blue. JK. LOL! My computer is a DELL.

Maiko: Well, as those people say, THE SHOW MUST GO ON!! -Glues a fake mustache on Lillie's face-

**Chapter one:**

**The many adventures of Harry, Ginny, the coconut, and friends.**

Harry, Ginny, Hermione, and Ron were at the beach. Now why they were at the beach, I don't know, so don't ask me, ask Cho or Rai. Anyway, they were at the beach. Ginny and Hermione were getting tans, while Ron and Harry were swimming. Wait, scratch that, Ginny and Hermione were getting tans, Ron was swimming, and Harry was starring at Ginny. When suddenly, CLONK! A coconut fell out of the blue and hit Harry on the head!

Actually, it fell out of a tree. As you all know, coconuts grow on trees, not bushes or weeds. You know, it didn't really fall right? It was sawed off by a mystifyingly mysterious stranger in a blue mask! Now why it had to be blue, I don't know, ask my other split personalities.

Anyhow...

"Gasp!" Our poor Harry was hit on the head by a sawed off coconut from a tree, not a bush or weed. -Sniff sniff- So sad. I know, what a shame, I'll have to go buy more tissues. What was even sadder was that the stranger was wearing next year's fashion!

Anyways, back to Harry. Oh, no! He was knocked out! Nothing revived him! Not water, not ice, not a ton of rocks fresh from Scotland! Not even my homemade chocolate chip cookies! No seriously, they're really, actually, in fact, in truth, accurately, in reality, truly, in actual fact, if truth be told, certainly beyond doubt high quality, good quality, first-class, first-rate, superior, fine, excellent, outstanding, brilliant, exceptional, admirable, superb, tremendously good.

So what did our geniuses do? Hermione starred at him with her mouth open, Ginny wept and Ron started the backstroke.

So after Ron got out of the water and dried off. He ate a prune. I don't know why he ate a prune. There are a lot of things I don't know. Like how pudding feels to be eaten. After Ron ate a prune, Hermione ate a seaweed (where'd she find one?), and Ginny ate a sand castle. The reason why this is is currently unknown to mankind. Please refresh the page or try again later. If it is still unknown, contact the authors and they'll write back to you with the answer.

After Ron ate a prune, Hermione ate seaweed that I do not know where she found, and Ginny ate a sand castle...

Ron helped Hermione and Ginny carry Harry back to the Burrow. Ah, but not before he got hit on the head by a very upset Hermione and kicked in the shin by a crying Ginny. On _accident_. Now this is what I call first-class irony.

When they got home, Mrs. Weasley was so shocked; she spilled hot water on Ron. Now what she was doing with hot water I don't know, and neither does mankind. So again, ask Cho or Rai. (And why do they know? Because they ain't no mankind, they're celeries, like me.)

Ron's been having bad luck, huh? Irony? No. Coinky-dink? Not likely. Caused by my evil experiments on my next guinea pig? You betcha.

So now, Ron has a bad bump on his head, a bad bruise on his leg and a bad burn on his index finger. Shocking! But did anyone care about him? Nooo! All they cared about was their precious bonsai tree! (Yay bonsai tree!! All hail the bonsai-ness of the tree that possesses the name of 'bonsai'!)

Two hours later, Harry was on the floor between very confused members of _Homo sapiens..._

Mrs. Weasley was still very upset. Because Hermione was in a daze, Ginny was crying on the newly waxed floor, and Ron was badly bruised, and burnt, and had a bad hit to his ego. But most importantly, she was upset because she lost the recipe to her favorite lemon pie!

Later that evening, there was one question in the air: "Where the heck did Mrs. Weasley put the lemon pie recipe?"

Maiko: Say wha??

-cough-

Maiko: Fine! Be that way.

Sorry, they also had another question in the air: "How the heck did a wizard like Harry get hit on the head by a coconut?"

-hackcough!-

Dang it! I got the wrong question! Again! Mmkay, let's get this straight:

1) Harry did not know about the coconut because he was starring at Ginny

2) He did not know that coconuts grew on trees and not bushes so he was not aware of the great danger he was in

3) He did not know that his chances of getting bitten by a spider is more than having a cup Vodka dumped on his head

4) I have a very annoying mosquito bite and it itches

So the question in the air is: "How the heck are we going to revive Harry?" There we go.

Maiko: I should get candy for that!

One and 3/4 of an hour passes when the _Homo sapiens _realized that they'd better try to revive Harry before it's too late to save the world...

Hedwig tried pecking at Harry, Fred and George tried an explosion (meant for fanfictional purposes only), and Mr. Weasley tried shaking the crap out of Harry. While Hermione starred away, Ginny kept crying on the used-to-be-newly-waxed-but-is-no-longer floor (how does she not get dehydrated? I wanna be able to do that!), Ron complain about his physical injuries and Mrs. Weasley drank tea.

Poor poor Harry! He was knocked out! He'll have a hangover when he wakes up. Little did the author know that Harry was really, actually, in fact, in truth, accurately, in reality, truly, in actual fact, if truth be told, certainly beyond doubt, in a coma.

Maiko's note: Alright! Let's hear it for the first chapter! So, stay tuned for the next chapter! You'll find out what's going on in Harry's mind! Oh, and no matter rain, snow sleet or hail, please don't go away, even though that's a thing for mailmen...W00t! Snail mail!!I don't mean to brag, but the cookies are really, actually, in fact, in truth, accurately, in reality, truly, in actual fact, if truth be told, certainly beyond doubt high quality, good quality, first-class, first-rate, superior, fine, excellent, outstanding, brilliant, exceptional, admirable, superb, tremendously good.


	2. Inside Harry's head

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, unicorns, or Fruit Roll Ups.

Maiko: FRUIT ROLL UPS!? I WANT ONE!

Lillie: Um, um, uh, I don't know what to say. OK, um, hm, OK. I want to be a unicorn with green hair. LOL!

Sparkle: I still think trees should be blue. Especially the ones with fruit roll ups. Or maybe yellow. I don't know STOP ASKING ME HARD QUESTIONS LIKE THAT!

Maiko: It took me a stupid hour to get the stupid fruit roll up off the stupid tree in the stupid woods. Ugh!

**Chapter Two:**

**Inside Harry's head.**

_"Previously, Harry just got knocked out by a sawed off coconut. The coconut was sawed off by a mysterious stranger in a blue mask..."_

Maiko: I think that was me, but I'm not sure. I was knocked out by the fall...but that would mean I did it wouldn't it? I don't know. STOP ASKING ME HARD QUESTIONS LIKE THAT!

Rai: HEY! THAT'S MY LINE!

Cho: Go away! This is my fanfic!

Maiko: But it's my fruit roll up!

Rai: But you stole it from me!

Cho: Come on guys! I'm trying to write a story here!

Maiko: Fine! Be that way!

Rai: Fine, carry on. Ignore my tears.

Cho: Anyway, back to the fanfic...

Harry's POV:

GAWD DANG IT!! This ain't no normal headache; it's the work of a hangover! DIE HANGOVERS!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Wait...how did I get a hangover? No no, don't tell me, Mrs. Weasley spiked my tea again, didn't she?

Nah, that's giving her way too much credit. The hangover is probably because of that coconut that fell on my head and knocked me out. Little did I know I was really in a coma...

Yeah, that's more likely, let's blame nature. But...how did I know I was knocked out by a coconut?

Maiko: I told you that, Bud...

See?! That blow shortened my memory! I CURSE YOU MEMORY LOSS!! NOW I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHERE I PUT MY BRAIN!!!

Regular POV (why? Because Harry's head is too weird for any of us to manage):

"Squishy!"

Harry just landed on a rainbow after getting knocked in the head with a coconut. By the look on his face, he doesn't seem to mind. What does his face look like? It looks like a face of a five year old that had just got his Christmas presents.

Scratch that, it looks like the face of a five year old _zebra_ that had just got his Christmas presents, which were: a carrot, a piece of lettuce, a doggy snack, and a cell phone.

Now why a zebra needs a cell phone, I don't know. It's probably for popularity.

Rai: Hey, you! I like your tail!

Cho: It's a little gray, but I like it.

Maiko: Let's show the little dude around!

Cho: Come on! All the actions over here!

Rai: Little Dude, this is Isabelle, Julia, and Gus...

Isabelle: "Aren't you supposed to be representing us at the meeting for magical creatures?"

Maiko: Nope, doesn't ring a bell. I don't even have a bell. I want one though...with a little black ribbon attached to it...

Cho: Oh! Yeah! C'mon guys, let's go. We're gonna be late!

The trio rushed off to the land far away...to a happier place...

Harry, whom happened to be done sliding down the _magical rainbow_: "Are they dead?"

Isabelle, Julia, and Gus galloped down from the rainbow. Aww! Can you picture that? It's so pretty!! PREEEEEEETTYYYYYYY!!!

Gus: "No, I'm hungry, they're going to a happier place, I'm hungry, to represent us magical creatures with the pretty tails, I'm hungry."

Isabelle: "Hello little guy! So you're the newbie, huh?"

Isabelle examined Harry as a spider would to another spider. Weird? No...It's too much of a coiky-dink...

Gus examined Harry as a giraffe would to another giraffe. Ironic? No...It's too much like my fault...

Harry just handily ignored the sentences above this one and replied: "Yeah, am I in the friendly unicorn world or something? And what did that voice say? A tail?! She's a nut,"

Julia had been carefully examining Harry for any traces of his brain: "No, she's not a nut. Did you see her fall from an acorn tree? I don't think so. It's the truth. Don't you know? You're a unicorn,"

Harry screamed like a little girl and fainted for the second time at this thought. Wait...or was it because I dropped a grand piano on his zebra-like little head? Anyhow, When Harry woke up; again, he had a question on his brain... (Yes, he found his brain, shut up!)

Harry: "Wait, how can I be a unicorn!? I mean--laughs--I was at the beach, starring at Ginny...and now, I'm like, in a meadow with unicorns and rainbows and lots of sparkles..."

Gus: "No, you weren't. You kinda fell out of the sky..."

Harry: "OK this is getting weirder by the minute. So let's get this straight: I fell out of the sky and now I'm a unicorn!? What about my wand?? I never go anywhere without it!"

Julia: "Yep! You caught on faster than we expected! How do you expect to hold a wand with hoof?"

Gus: "All this talkin's makin' me hungry. Let's get something to eat,"

Isabelle: "Gus, you're always hungry,"

Children! What do you do when you're hungry?

A) Eat

B) Whine about it

C) Just sit there and become anorexic

D) Ponder about this

Good! The answer is A! When you're hungry, you eat! So that's what our amazing horse-shaped geniuses did! Eat!

Harry was obediently following Isabelle and Gus while Julia tagged on behind. Where they were going is unknown to you. Means I know but you don't. Ha-ha! Losers! Kay.

Harry was now hungry too: "What are we going to eat?"

Isabelle was now exasperated, this question had been repeat a dozen times already! What do they expect her to do? Take everyone to a Chinese buffet and pay the bill? Nuh-uh. NOT likely.

Isabelle: "WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO?? TAKE EVERYONE TO A CHINESE BUFFET AND PAY THE BILL? NUH-UH! NOT LIKELY!!"

Eh, who know Isabelle voiced her thought? I didn't.

Now, the rest of the group cowered under a fuming unicorn. Seeing a fuming unicorn is very frightening, you usually expect them to be happy and all.

..._TO BE CONTINUED_

Maiko's note: Alright! This is the second chapter! Done by Cho! Horray! I always start off like that with the notes don't I? Anyway, stay tuned if you want to see what they're going to eat! Cho and Rai and I would like to thank Isabelle and Julia for letting us use their names too!


End file.
